A new page in the book of my life...

Yesterday morning I was diagnosed with Essential Tremors. Starting a little over a year ago I started noticing my left hand having minor tremors here and there. It wasn't bothersome at the time so I passed it off as being related to a medication that i was on or maybe i was just over tired and stressed. In December of 2010 I went to my doctor with concerns that I might have MS. I had many classic symptoms of the disease and my maternal grandfather and my paternal aunt both have it... it isn't genetically linked that doctors know of, but with it being on both sides, and me having lots of symptoms we decided to do a baseline MRI just to be safe. Nothing showed up on the MRI except a 1cm cyst near my pineal gland. They said they're actually not that rare and there is nothing to worry about, but in 6mo-1yr we would do a follow up MRI to make sure it isn't getting bigger in size. For the last year the tremors in my left hand have gradually gotten a little more intense and more frequent. At this point I have them almost everyday and they are very noticeable to others if I'm not sitting on my hand, or constantly moving my hands around. Starting six months ago I started feeling vibrations up my left arm, and about a month later I could feel them across my chest. Within a few months they had moved up into my jaw and over to my right shoulder. In the last month the vibrations have moved down my right arm, and in the last week my right had has started having tremors too. So I called my doctor on Thursday requesting to come in... they had me come in at 9am the next day for a full check up. My doctor was extremely thorough (which she always is and that's why I LOVE her.) and had me do lots of physical tests to rule out a stroke and Parkinson's disease. She referred me to a colleague of hers whom she said is extremely proactive as well and will do a more thorough exam of my symptoms to officially diagnose me and officially rule out Parkinson's disease. Since I am due for my follow up MRI anyways, they will probably do one of those as well. There is no blood test or brain scan that diagnoses Parkinson's disease... it is simply based on the kinds of tremors that you have. There are very "classic" symptoms that all Parkinson's patients have and so far I'm only showing about 1/2-2/3 of them. I don't have tremors in my head or my legs at this point which is why she believes that I have Essential Tremors. I will have them for the rest of my life, and when they become extremely bothersome I will go on medication to help control them. I don't hurt, but they irritate me. I'm a total control freak and it is driving me insane that I cannot control this. I can't make my hands stop shaking unless I sit on them... which i have a nice habit of doing now. Even if i sit on them though, i can feel the muscles in my wrist twitching and trembling, and I feel the vibrations up my arms and in my chest. It causes me to be so agitated all the time, and I can't help it. I honest to God thought that my doctor was going to tell me that I'm being a hypochondriac and that there's nothing to worry about, or that I'll grow out of them.... but that's not the route she went. AT ALL. She never once doubted that there wasn't something serious going on, and she never once questioned whether they would go away. They just won't. I was initally shocked that i had no reaction to the temporary diagnosis. It was like she had said that I have the flu and I'll get over it in time. Nothing. No reaction. No consequence of what this all means. No fear.

Then I posted on facebook about it, and I started reading my amazing friend's comments. Everyone was so loving and supportive and as i read comment after comment, i realized how incredibly serious this is. This is the REST OF MY LIFE. My hand that is shaking as i type this, will get to a point where it no longer stops shaking. There will be a day in my future that I no longer can say that it's a good day and I'm not trembling. And now I'm angry. I'm so angry about it that it's ridiculous. Diseases like this did not occur nearly as often as they do now (if at all) hundreds and thousands of years ago... we have done this to ourselves as a society. I hate this. It took me ten minutes to pluck my eyebrows this morning because my hand couldn't hold still. I avoided shaving my legs for over three or four WEEKS because I was scared to use a razor (There's your proof that Bigfoot is real Jordan ;) LOL! Actually I'm thankful that my leg hair is blonde so it really isn't that noticeable, plus i wear long jeans all the time. But still... that's way too long haha). I've noticed that I have them pretty bad after I shower, so I'm not sure if it's the movements that I'm doing that instigate them or if it's the heat (I have a very low heat tolerance).

I clench my jaw to help control the tremors in it, which in turn gives me horrible jaw pain and headaches. When will I get to the point where I just relax and let it happen? I am not going to make any major changes medication wise (including adding supplements or herbs that have been proven to give relief to Parkinson's patients (which would of course help me since i have the tremors too)) but I am going to change my lifestyle.

Starting this morning I started researching special diets for Parkinson's patients and even MS patients (since they're both dealing with brain degeneration, myelin breakdown, neuron issues, etc) for cues as to what makes things worse vs making it better.
Preservatives- GONE
Caffeine- contrary to what i thought, it will NOT make the tremors worse.
Alcohol- has had a relief effect for some patients and will help calm the tremors... i tried it tonight and it did nothing :\
Fruits and Veggies- My new best friends
Whole grains- I will learn to gag down (i am not a fan of carbs unless they're bleached and have no nutritional value lol)
Dairy products- I will limit to a point (there have been some links to dairy and Parkinson's Disease. Today I read that Farmers are 47 times more likely to develop Parkinson's than an average backyard gardener due to the exposure to pesticides, herbicides, toxins in manure, and increase dairy intake.)
Candy... beloved candy. Sweet glorious sour candy: Gone *SOBS* :( I don't like chocolate so I don't have to worry about missing that lol
Water: I already drink quite a bit each day but i need to bump it up to at LEAST 8 8oz glasses a day.
Organic food: I am going to eat as much organic food as possible, and as much of it RAW as I can. It'll be hard since I'm pretty picky, but can i point out the irony that I work for Wildtree which has ONLY all natural products?! lol! SCORE :D
Exercise: I should have been doing this in general but lets face it, it's easier to sit on the couch ;) I want to work out at least a few times a week, but my goal is to start doing yoga at least once a day and learn to meditate as well. I think this will help me keep calm internally when i have no other options available to me.

I want to send out a million thank you's to all of my AMAZING friends and family members who are always there for me :) I love you all